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| konfusion |
| 01.28.04 (11:32 am) [edit] |
i miss you so much.
i was talking to helen this morning. and she said all of these things that made me think. i'm never going to be over brandon. i mean, i can go ahead and let josue make me happy, and that's what i plan on doing, not anytime soon though, and...i will still want to kill myself when i see brandon walk down the hallway with another girl, holding her hand...giving her a rose when he asks her out... singing looking back on today for her, writing about how amazing she is in his xanga. i am not that girl, and i've come to realize that i will never be that girl. not anymore.
i know when i see him sing, my heart will break, no matter how happy josue or anyone else makes me. even dmitri, who thought i was cute.
it just doesnt work that way. :cry:
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| I HATE YOU |
| 01.26.04 (11:51 am) [edit] |
i love you so much i hate you. i hate you for occupying my thoughts and i hate you for making me feel this way.
which is all rather surreal, really.
i'd like to see you undone
i messed up my friendship this weekend
i would be happy. if it wasnt for you.
there was a time when i was so happy with you.
i hate you so much.
so.much.
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| they'll never hurt you like i do |
| 01.22.04 (11:33 am) [edit] |
i am not looking forward to next year.
honestly, my dad doesnt care about you [i]brandon[/i]
i still miss you though...which is why i dont like anyone right now. for once. i need to stay single. need to.
i still havent talked to mr. dmitri yet...i will. here is my final thing on what i'm going to say.
hey. im melissa, clarinetest at region (butterfingers with my music). you seemed pretty cool, for the ten minutes that i saw of you, and i was scared to talk to you because i thought your eyes were intimidating. intimidating in a good way though.
youre eyes are neat.
sound good?
i think i'm changing. i'm wearing my finch shirt today.
i wish i was happy like a certain couple in my class right now. i could make you happy.
okay. when i turn 18, (two years from now in april), rachel and i are going to san francisco. and we're going to work at tower records and have a tiny apartment, we'll be tight on money, but the apartment will still look pretty because we made it that way. cheap decorations and whatnot.
and we'll go to concerts every night. and date boys in the same band so we can go on the road with them.
we'll also have a dog and if its a guy i'll call him slinkster dog. and if it's a girl, i'll call her weetzie.
my ideal life.
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| i saw your eyes |
| 01.20.04 (12:36 pm) [edit] |
hello. my name is melissa. and i was a clarinetest at region, and all i wanted to say was that your eyes are amazing.
nope.
ok, how about....
hi, i'm melissa. this is going to sound weird, but i was a clarinetest at region, and i was scared to talk to you because i found your eyes intimidating.
maybe i shouldnt say intimidating. haha.
i didnt say one word to him :roll:
i will though
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| punchline |
| 01.15.04 (11:52 am) [edit] |
oh emm gee.
punchline is [i]finally[/i] releasing their new album. :D
i dont care what anyone else says, i still miss you.
i hope you had the time of your life.
man, love's a bitch
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| im baaaack |
| 01.13.04 (12:37 pm) [edit] |
okay okay. the school blocked xanga. so i may be updating from here.
everything that's happened since november...
-me and brandon are over
-my hair is 8 inches shorter
-i passed my classes.
bitching about brandon, i dont understand why he dumped me. i miss him. what the fuck was the week before? i know he knows i stlil think about it. i know he misses me. he has to. for going through all that trouble to get me to like him.
i stopped talking.
i only miss him when josues not around. is it bad to maybe have feelings for your best friend? :oops:
until next time, im out.
~O = <3>
mel
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